The Biography

Who Is Isaac Worrell?

Isaac Worrell was born. Since then, he has continued to exist with remarkable consistency. He has eaten thousands of meals, formed several opinions, and on multiple occasions, walked from one room to another entirely without incident. Leading scholars have called him "a person." His continued existence is considered by many to be notable, by others to be unremarkable, and by Isaac himself to be "fine, I guess."

He lives somewhere. He has a phone. He is, by most accounts, aware of things.

The Record

Notable Achievements

The Covenant

Join the Faithful

Four tiers. Infinite meaning. Real money.

Bronze

"The Aware"

$3

per month

  • Your name added to Isaac's mental list of people who exist
  • Monthly automated confirmation that Isaac is still alive
  • Bronze Fan digital badge (it is a circle)
  • Access to the Bronze Lounge (this website)

Silver

"The Believer"

$7

per month

  • Everything in Bronze
  • Isaac will briefly think about you once per month (unverifiable)
  • Personalized certificate of fandom (PDF, in a font Isaac chose)
  • Your name whispered into Isaac's room
  • Spiritual proximity to greatness

Gold

"The Devoted"

$15

per month

  • Everything in Silver
  • Isaac will look at a photograph of you for no fewer than 3 seconds
  • Monthly "Isaac Update" newsletter (recent issue: "still here")
  • Permission to tell people you "know a guy named Isaac"
  • One supportive nod if paths cross in the physical world

Diamond

"The Chosen"

$30

per month

  • Everything in Gold
  • Isaac will say your name aloud once per month (no witnesses guaranteed)
  • Photo added to Isaac's Wall of Believers (a sticky note on his monitor)
  • Exclusive Diamond content: photos of Isaac's ceiling
  • Isaac will remember your name for up to 72 hours after being reminded
  • A connection neither of you will be able to explain

The Faithful Speak

Testimonials

"I subscribed six months ago. Nothing has changed in my life. But somehow, knowing Isaac is aware of me — that changes everything."

Kevin D.  ✦  Bronze Fan, 6 months

"I received the personalized certificate. It said my name wrong. I cried tears of joy."

Marla T.  ✦  Silver Fan, 3 months

"Isaac looked at my photo. I could feel it from here. I don't know how. I just could."

Brendan K.  ✦  Gold Fan, 1 year

"He said my name. I have the voicemail. It was three seconds of silence, then a sigh. I have listened to it 400 times."

Jennifer W.  ✦  Diamond Fan, 8 months

The Truth

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Who is Isaac Worrell?

Yes.

Q: What do I get as a fan?

The knowledge that you are one. That is enough.

Q: Can I cancel my subscription?

You can. But will you? Isaac will not be angry. He will simply be aware.

Q: Is Isaac aware that this website exists?

Isaac is aware of many things. This is one of them.

Q: What does Isaac do?

He persists.